haven't been updating this blog for a rather long time..
and this time i going to make it short..
i'm not in a good mood, and haven't been since thurday..
when the PW results were revealed..

today, i went to church and the priest said this story..
there was this grandfather and his grandson and they love to go fly kites.
so on one very windy day, they went to this mountain to fly a kite.
the little boy was holding onto the string tightly when a large cloud came..
and the kite disappeared into the thick cloud..
then the grandfather said to his grandson, "Dearie, i think the kite fairy came and took your kite away."
but the grandson replied, "NO."
after a while, the kite was still hidden in the cloud..
so the grandfather told his gandson again, "Son, i think the kite fairy took your kite away."
but the grandson still said no.
then the grandfather curiously asked him, "Son, how come you're so sure the kite fairy has not been taken away?"
"Grandpa, i can still feel the tug on the string. It's still there, Grandpa."
The priest said that we know God is here with us cause we can feel the tug in our hearts.
But you know what, i don't think i can feel that tug anymore..
so many things have been happening these few months.. it makes me wonder whether there is still a God at all.
life isn't fair anymore.. it wasn't even fair in the 1st place i guess..
if God was present, shouldn't he ensure that life is fair? but life's not..
i think my string just broke.. and i don't think i can ever mend it back anymore.. maybe after a very long time..
or maybe all i need is some fairness in life to make me start believing again..
believing in life.. and believing in a God..