Notebook of DREAMS

three cheers for me.

this blog belongs to DESIREE tan zhi ying.
desiree will be turning 21 on the 24th december 2009. she will love anything you give her, including your hugs and kisses.

you can add desiree on msn at crushgirl_18@hotmail.com or add her on facebook.
desiree studied in st. anthony's canossian primary and secondary school and later moved on to tampines junior college.
she is currently in SMU, doing her bachelors in business management and hopes to graduate by 2011.
right now, she doesn't need anything except an INTERNSHIP.

desiree is a CATHOLIC and she attends the 11am mass in the Church of the Holy Trinity every sunday with the SERAPHIM choir.
desiree is attached to the FIDES family in SMU. her life would be so different if she didn't have her Faith.

she loves to eat any kind of ICE CREAM and wouldn't mind chocolates as well.
she loves to shop and has a soft spot for shoes and dresses.

9:11 PM

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

As our eyes met, the doctor and I shared an unspoken anguish. We worked feverishly over the infant, doing everything that could be done according to the policy and standards of practice in our hospital - but we both knew we were losing the battle for the life of this baby.
We looked at our pathetic little patient. He was lying in the foetal position in the wrong environment, trying to get air into underdeveloped lungs that couldn't do the job.
In a calmer voice, the doctor said, "Okay, Nurse, I'm going back to the office. Keep him comfortable and let me know when it's over. I'm sorry about this. Call me if you need me for anything. I know it's a hard one. We've done all we can. If it helps, please know it's tough for me too."
I watched the doctor retreat and then glance back ay the infant before me. He was struggling for oxygen.
Following the doctor's orders, I notified the intensive care unit that we wouldn't be coming and that we would be waiting it out right where we were. All the life-saving equipment available to be in the NICU was right here - and i know the baby's time was short.
I settled down a bit and began to focus on this tiny little person who has no name. Suddenly, I found myself speaking to the baby. "Tiny Tim, who are you? I'm sorry you weren't wanted. It's not your fault. You didn't ask for it and neither did I."
I placed by little finger in his hand, and he grasped it! As i watched him closely, I marvelled that all the microscopic parts of a beautiful baby were present and functioning in spite of the onslaught.
I touched his toes and discovered he was ticklish! He had a long torso and long legs. I wondered if he would have become a basket ball player. Perhaps he would have been a teacher or a doctor.
Emotions swept over me as I thought of my friends who had been waiting and praying for a baby to adopt. I spoke aloud once again to a miniature baby. “They would have given you a loving and happy home. Why would people destroy you before every considering adoption? That goes beyond selfishness and turns something sinister. Ignorance is not bliss, is it, Tiny Tim?”
He put his thumb into his mouth and sucked. I hoped it gave him comfort.
My dialogue with the baby continued. “I’m sorry Tim. I don’t know how we got to be such a screwed-up society. There are people who would risk their lives for a whale or an owl before they even blink about what just happened to you. Perhaps they just don’t know.”